Posted by: joshjasper | December 15, 2011

Nothing Else Matters

To the countless people in our community that rape and physically or emotionally abuse others, this message is for you:  Please STOP!  Is it possible that you don’t see how much pain and suffering you are creating for others?  You need help.  You are better than this.  I sincerely believe that you are.  I believe you are making a choice to hurt the people closest to you for reasons that only you know.  Most importantly, I believe that you know what you are doing is wrong and that you are able to stop if you so choose.  Please choose to stop now.

The women and children that come into our offices for the first time can’t make eye contact with me.  Your prolonged abusive behavior has made them fearful of all men.  Symptoms include depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and suicide, to name just a few.  Look at what you have done.  And for what?  What have you really gained through all of this?  Nothing.  Not only have you lost the people closest to you, but in the process, you have slowly lost the person that you once were.

You weren’t always this way.  I know better.  I can see right through you.  You are not the strong and powerful person you think you are.  No, you are quite the opposite.  I see someone who is unable to express their feelings effectively.  You’re afraid to look inward and explore why you are filled with such anger and hurt.  My guess is that those painful feelings have been there for a long time.  Imagine how much pain could be eliminated for you and others if you took the time to heal yourself.

There are people out there that want to help you.  My suggestion to you is that you seek counseling.  If you don’t know where to look, ask me.  (josh@riverviewcenter.org)  No judgment.  I want you to get the help you need.  It’s too easy to demonize you, and most will do that for me without asking.  But that’s not going to change anything.  It won’t change the woman’s reality I talked to tonight that was once abused and is now fearful that her children are next.

You have to change.

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