Posted by: joshjasper | February 14, 2011

Core Values

Rather than attempt to debunk, counter, or defend many of the incorrect assumptions that have been made about me as of late, I thought I would take a moment to lay out a few of my core values in this work. By doing so, my hope is that a meaningful conversation could be had moving forward. These beliefs are as follows:

1. In order to end violence, (which is possible) we must engage the ENTIRE community and strive for equality. Both men and women commit an obscene amount of violence. Prevention efforts must focus on men, women, boys, girls, senior citizens and children, and especially the individuals that have already committed acts of violence.

2. The gender stereotypes that exist for both men and women must be eliminated. The media regularly portrays men as stupid, bumbling Neanderthals that have nothing on their minds other than sex and ESPN. On the other hand, young girls are sexualized and women are made into sex objects. Men are told that they must be tough, strong, aggressive, a provider and protector, and can never show emotions. Don’t get me wrong, many of the stereotypical attributes of men can be positive, but are also incredibly limiting. For example, we say that a “real man” must be strong, but that form of strength is only defined as physical prowess, but never includes strength of character. Men are better than this; they deserve more. The same is true for women. Women are much more than a pretty face, but yet when you ask young girls about what it means to become a woman you find that most of the words used to describe womanhood have to do with physical characteristics. (pretty, thin, big boobs, sexy, etc., etc.)

3. Violence against women and men is an epidemic. Our lobbies are filled everyday with women, men, boys, and girls waiting to receive advocacy, education, and counseling services. (50% of the clients we serve under the age of 18 are boys) I have observed organizations that often overlook the victimization of men and boys. Both men and women under report abuse because of the gender stereotypes mentioned before. I have found that men especially do not report sexual abuse for fear of not being a “real man.” These aforementioned stereotypes are destroying the ability for men and women to realize self actualization.

4. Violence is learned. We learn violence in the home, from peers, the internet, music, video games, television, movies, the news, and religion, to name just a few. Violence is jammed down our throats in every imaginable way. You are not born to be a rapist, nor are you born to beat up your husband, wife or children. We must counter this violent influence by being positive role models and mentors for others. We must challenge the norm; speaking out against sexism, racism, and homophobia. Most people default to being a passive bystander in any given situation, hoping that someone else will stand up and do the right thing. We must become active bystanders, acting with genuine integrity, even when it is uncomfortable….especially when it is uncomfortable.

5. The hatred of men and women is alive and well within our society. (Misogyny vs. misandary) I do NOT subscribe to either.

6. Fear is a powerful force in our work. I have seen fear act as a barrier for organizations to provide services to men and engage them in the work of violence prevention. Additionally, men have privilege in our society and there is a great deal of fear that keeps most men from acknowledging said privilege for fear of losing it.

7. Although a great deal of violence is committed by men, the vast majority of men are NOT violent. The problem is that not enough men are challenging the norm, speaking out against men that are not healthy role models for others.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. The fact that women do most child abuse is an important piece of the puzzle if the aim is curb violence and dysfunctional behaviour in society.

  2. Eoghan-
    Could you send me a link to a recent study that discusses your point? I would like to read more about that.

  3. This blog is claiming that the stats that mens groups are using are unfounded, a claim which invalidates many abuse victims and gives cover the many abusers.

    Can your organisation clarify which stats. and studies it is claiming are unfounded?

  4. Lots of preaching from lots of folks around here, including myself. Thought there might be room for a prayer too.

    From General Douglas MacArthur:

    Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
    Build me a son whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be; a son who will know Thee….Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
    Build me a son whose heart will be clean, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
    And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
    Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, “I have not lived in vain.”

    General Douglas MacArthur

  5. Eoghan-

    “90% of rape is falsely reported.” Where does that statistic come from? I have received 4 e-mails claiming that to be true. According to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports in 2008, 89,000 people (women and men) reporting being sexually assaulted to the police. These same FBI statistics state that false reporting ranges from 2-5%. Am I to believe that 84,550 falsely reported being raped in 2008?

    As a reminder, please forward me the research that mentioned before about the rates of women abusing children.

  6. Here you go Josh

    This page here has a collection of stats and articles about female child abusers – US figures, figures from Australia, articles about hidden female pedophilia.. http://thenononsenseman.com/nonsense/child-abuse/

    This page is useful too – http://www.breakingthescience.org/

  7. Josh –

    IF Eoghan provides you with the research you have asked for, you should post that on this blog. I, too, am very intersted what it has to say.

    Eoghan –

    I’m also curious as to the methodology used to carry out the research that claims 90% of reported rates are false. Has this study been replicated by others, who have no stake in the results, in order to prove its validity?

  8. Stacie I’ve sent in some links to multiple sources. They are awaiting moderation.

    As for the 90% false reporting rate, Ive never heard an mra going by that figure, I only know of one study that put the figure at 90%, we will just have to take Josh’s word for it that mens rights people are using it.

    Mens rights people usually work off Eugene Kanin’s (1994) figure of 41%, which has been replicated.

  9. Some figures for Australia, which are replicated in the US.

    Mothers are more likely than fathers to neglect and emotionally and physically abuse their children, information obtained under freedom of information laws reveals.

    But figures from the WA Department for Child Protection show substantiated cases of child sexual abuse against fathers still far outnumber those against mothers.

    The data shows that parents were the perpetrators in almost 39 per cent of the 1505 substantiated cases of child abuse in 2007-08. Of the 582 cases of abuse by parents, mothers were responsible for 73 per cent, while fathers committed 27 per cent.

    Mothers were more than 17 times more likely than fathers to neglect their children, while fathers were responsible for 85 per cent of sex abuse cases against children.

    Mothers carried out almost 68 per cent of cases of emotional and psychological abuse committed by parents, about 53 per cent of physical abuse and more than 94 per cent of neglect cases.

    Cases of substantiated abuse jumped from 960 in 2005-06 to 1505 in 2007-08. In 2005-06, mothers committed 312 cases, while fathers were responsible for 165.

    In 2005-06, mothers were responsible for 161 neglect, 72 emotional and psychological, 76 physical and three sexual abuse cases against their children. In the same financial year, fathers were responsible for 37 neglect, 41 emotional and psychological, 65 physical and 22 sexual abuse cases against their children.

    A DCP spokesman said figures between years were not comparable because measuring methodologies may have changed.

    Of the total substantiated cases of abuse in 2007-08, including by parents and where the gender of the perpetrator was determined, 463 were carried out by women and 353 by men.

    University of Western Sydney academic Micheal Woods said yesterday that the statistics debunked the myth that fathers posed the greatest risk to their children.

    Mr Woods, co-director of the university’s Men’s Health Information and Resource Centre, said if similar data was available in other States it would show similar trends

  10. inho

    Women have likely always been the ones socialising the most violence into society because they have always been the main care givers.

  11. […] a blog post on Valentine’s Day, Jasper concluded: Although a great deal of violence is committed by men, […]

  12. Does Riverview rely on the outdated and gender biased Duluthe model, like so many others?

    Transforming a flawed policy: A call to revive psychology and science in domestic violence research and practice.

    http://www.nfvlrc.org/docs/DuttonCorvo.policypaper.pdf

  13. Some research from Canada for you Josh

    Dr. Don Dutton, 2006, Journal of Child Custody.

    Apart from Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) directed to a partner, feminist theory also ignores violence by women directed at children, probably because such violence falls outside the political view of being a response to an oppressor male. However, violence and abuse toward children is of central importance to custody assessors, more so than the varieties of IPV described by Johnson. In that respect, custody assessors should be aware of the largest study of child abuse and neglect that, to my knowledge, has ever been conducted. This is a study of 135,573 child maltreatment investigations conducted by Health Canada and Published by the National Clearing House on Family Violence (Trocme and al. 2001). The study designates the abuse type as physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, emotional maltreatment and “multiple categories”. The investigations are further divided into substantiated, suspected and unsubstantiated categories. Substantiation rates do not, in general, vary by gender of perpetrator and run from 52 to 58%. Biological mothers (as compared to biological fathers) are the more likely substantiated perpetrator of physical abuse (47 vs. 42%), neglect (86% vs. 33%), emotional maltreatment (61% vs. 55%) and multiple categories (66% vs. 36%). The biological father is the most likely perpetrator of sexual abuse (15% vs. 5%). For physical abuse the substantiation rate was 6% higher for fathers, bringing the total perpetration rates to equality ( Table 4, page 49).

  14. Interesting incident. Interesting reaction.
    Men aren’t violent and I’ll kill you if you disagree

  15. I love your core values! Not sure these folks read them, or I don’t think they’d be so ruffled. Keep up the good work, we’re behind you buddy.

  16. @ William Belle: Lol – It’s funny because it’s true! No wait…it’s actually pretty depressing.

    Also, Josh, seriously, thanks for the work you do and for your logical, reasoned, and balanced thought processes in all this. I appreciate allies like you, who have clearly thought about these issues and are impassioned by them, more than you know. I’m gonna look around and see if I can send a donation to your organization.

    P.S. In my med. school lecture about sexual assault, the sexual assault counselor who works for the state attorney’s office told us the % of false rapes reported is about 4% – about the same as for other violent crimes. But for SOME reason – could it be misogyny??? – people like to make that number seem bigger! HMMM!

  17. According to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports in 2008, 89,000 people (women and men) reporting being sexually assaulted to the police.

    The FBI Uniform Crime Report does not count males as victims of rape. It specifically defines rape as “the carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.”

    As a reminder, please forward me the research that mentioned before about the rates of women abusing children.

    That information is available on the US Department of Health and Human Services website.

  18. ALT

  19. ALT

    You might want to do your own research rather than taking what some feminist tells you as the truth. Feminists deal in whats called advocacy research, not actual, scientific research.

  20. William Belle-

    Thank you for putting together the great article!

  21. ToySoldier-
    To begin, thank you for input regarding the commercial that will reach boys and men. I really appreciate your thoughtful suggestions. Also, your point about the UCR not counting rape against men and boys is absolutely baffling to me if that is true. I’m not one to believe everything on Wikipedia so I contacted a friend of mine that is in the FBI to confirm. Again, if that is true, you can believe that I will immediately begin advocating for that change.

  22. Rather than attempt to debunk, counter, or defend many of the incorrect assumptions that have been made about me as of late, I thought I would take a moment to lay out a few of my core values in this work.

    Then you technically are attempting to debunk, counter, and defend yourself against the assumptions made about you. It is understandable that you would do so, but it ultimately does nothing. It is very easy to say or write things. However, doing them is another matter. Here is an example: on the Riverview website there are two links challenging the myths about domestic and sexual violence. On the page about domestic violence the first myth challenged is the notion that women can and do commit domestic violence. From the site:

    Myth: “Women are just as violent as men.”

    Fact: “In 2007, 45% of female homicide victims were murdered by intimate partners; 5% of male homicide victims were murdered by intimate partners.”*

    “85% of all domestic violence is perpetrated against women.”

    Two points. First, the first statistic is misleading. Many women who kill their partners use methods that are harder to trace, such as poisoning, or hire someone else to do it. Likewise, the number of cases declared homicides do not represent the rate in which people are abused. By limiting the statistic to only intimate partner murder you create a false perception about the amount of violence women commit. More so, other research has found a much higher rate of domestic violence against men. For example, the National Women Victimization Survey found that 33% of domestic violence victims were male.

    Secondly, the above quote may turn away male victims because the claim does not state that women may not commit as much violence as men (which may or may not be true), but specifically that women are incapable of being as violent as men. I have worked with several organizations based in Chicago over the last few years, the most recent of which Stop Abuse For Everyone. This is the kind of misleading misinformation that organizations like SAFE try to combat. That kind of misinformation turns away male victims, and there are plenty of people who provide services for male victims who can attest to that.

    The other issue is that neither page mentions anything about male victims or the myths they face. This leaves is that males simply are not victims of domestic and sexual violence, a notion that is demonstrably false. The research links pages are much worse. The documents are outdated and each one that mentions male victims downplays the severity and frequency of sexual and domestic violence against boys and men. It is inexplicable why anyone would compile statistics from 20 years ago when more recent statistics provide a much better picture of the sexual and domestic violence males face.

    If you wish to dispel any assumptions about your opinions regarding male victims of abuse, a great way to do that would be by updating the afore mentioned pages to include myths and specific research about male victims. Some of the myths about male victims of abuse can be found on 1in6 and Malesurvivor’s websites, as can many studies pertaining to sexual violence against boys. Information regarding domestic violence against males can be found on a number of sites.

    If you are interested, I would be willing to compile the information for you and email it to you.

  23. Also, your point about the UCR not counting rape against men and boys is absolutely baffling to me if that is true. I’m not one to believe everything on Wikipedia so I contacted a friend of mine that is in the FBI to confirm.

    There is no need to do that. From the FBI website:

    Forcible rape, as defined in the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting (UCR) Program, is the carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will. Attempts or assaults to commit rape by force or threat of force are also included; however, statutory rape (without force) and other sex offenses are excluded.

    Later in the explanation:

    Sexual attacks on males are counted as aggravated assaults or sex offenses, depending on the circumstances and the extent of any injuries.

    It is excusable to to treat male victims as second-class victims, but for the moment no one is willing to change the definition.

  24. ToySoldier-
    Thank you for the additional feedback. To clarify, the reason I wanted to lay out some of my “core values” was to simply move past the attacks some people were sending my way and get into a meaningful conversation. I completely agree with you that it is MUCH easier to write about important issues and all together different to actually do the work. (I believe I do both) You are absolutely correct in that our myths on our website needs to be updated/edited. We actually just redesigned our website and some of the content was just pasted into the new site to get it up and running.
    If you don’t mind, I would appreciate you forwarding me additional information that would ensure men and women are fairly represented on the site in any section. Please note that I need facts. (nothing biased) Lastly, I would very much appreciate an objective view of our site. I am sincerely invested in ensuring that our website effectively reaches the ENTIRE community. Feel free to send me anything that you think would be good to have on our site at my e-mail: josh@riverviewcenter.org

    Thanks.

  25. ToySoldier-
    Got the official word from the FBI. Here’s what I received:

    “The UCR definition for forcible rape (11A) is that the victim and offender must be of the opposite sex. The same sex rapes are to be reported as forcible sodomy (11B). In the FBI release only the 11A forcible rapes are included. In the Crime in Iowa report we would list all the offenses but again your rapes that occur where the victim and offender are of the same sex would be included in the forcible sodomy category.
    Hope this helps to answer your questions and please let me know if you need anything further.”

    That is incredible that they do not consider it rape when a man sexually assaults another man, calling it “forcible sodomy” rather than rape.

  26. @Josh Jasper
    “6. Fear is a powerful force in our work. I have seen fear act as a barrier for organizations to provide services to men and engage them in the work of violence prevention. Additionally, men have privilege in our society and there is a great deal of fear that keeps most men from acknowledging said privilege for fear of losing it.

    7. Although a great deal of violence is committed by men, the vast majority of men are NOT violent. The problem is that not enough men are challenging the norm, speaking out against men that are not healthy role models for others.

    « It’s Time to Re-Evaluate”

    Like the claims of all primary agents and most frontline practitioners working within the modern ‘Abuse Industry’- the aegis of your perceived world – devoid of common sense or reason – still leaps out of your latest announcement, totally unhindered by the thin veil of gender neutrality you have clearly put in place in the face of recent outcry.

    Still loudly proclaimed are the politically defined human beings. Politically defined lives. Politically prescribed values for individuals ruled and sanctioned by your own bigoted left wing prejudices about what they are and about what they, themselves, should want to be – prejudices that have nothing to do with human reality or its long term greater good.

    Josh Jasper, you define your work and your work defines you. You divide people from others and divorce them from their inner selves. This provides you with the raw material of the needless ‘production line’ of intrusive modern social work which gifts you the statistics of various negative end products and the illusion of a ‘job well done’. You deliberately distribute poison in an attempt to give meaning and value to your fake tonic.

    Along with the ideological bullying, the irony and hypocrisy of many of your words are truly astonishing. Repeat….

    @Josh Jasper
    “………. I have seen fear act as a barrier for organizations to provide services to men and engage them in the work of violence prevention.”

    Give me a break Mr Jasper. You, and many others like you, surely need to ‘re-evaluate’ my friend.

  27. Josh

    The FBI seem to be excluding female on female rape altogether.

  28. @Josh Jasper.
    That is incredible that they do not consider it rape when a man sexually assaults another man, calling it “forcible sodomy” rather than rape.

    @Eoghan
    The FBI seem to be excluding female on female rape altogether.

    To both Jasper and Eoghan – Snap out of this infantile paranoid trance which forces you to focus upon concerns that very infrequently involve miniscule numbers of people.

    If you want to live in a sordid world of virtual non-reality. Fine. But spare the rest of humanity your squalor.

    Grow up. Get a life. And Josh – get a real job which inputs positive things into the human world, not attempts to level and divide it.

  29. Peter C

    From what I’ve read sexual assault is more common in the lesbian community than is in the heterosexual community. Men are raped by women as often as women are raped by men and when you count the prison population, men are raped more often than women. Female pedophilia is the most underreported type of abuse there is and both boys and girls are victims.

    Feminists usually do what you have just done – depict sex crimes and abuse that doesn’t suit their agenda as an anomaly that should be ignored.

  30. @Eoghan.
    “Feminists usually do what you have just done – depict sex crimes and abuse that doesn’t suit their agenda as an anomaly that should be ignored.”

    You misunderstand. You are indeed right to suggest that feminists ignore many sexual and domestic crimes for which women are the main perpetrators and men (and children) are the primary victims. And this is indeed criminal neglect involving many people.

    But remember – feminism, along with many other things, is an ideological war against the greater good, widespread human need, common sense and reality. Feminism will eventually and inevitably be defeated by these things. It is consequently unnecessary to focus upon such ridiculously fringe practises as ‘female upon female rape’.

    The voice of anti-feminism already has an invincible ally – ‘reality and truth relative to the whole’.

    People who recognise feminism for the evil it undoubtedly is, need only that as their tool. If you start talking about such things as ‘female upon female rape’ you are merely entering their own strange temple, and on their terms. Consequently reason, and the cause of the greater good, is left unserviced by well meaning people who go down this route.

    But I appreciate the central theme of what you are effectively saying – feminists exist within a self-defined world of narcissism and self-service in which there is no room for alternative viewpoints leading to self-reproach. And I thank you, Eoghan, for having the necessary conscience and moral will to speak out on websites such as this.

    All I am suggesting is that the bubble of feminist unreality will be breached by the facts, logic and humanity of every day existence – not by such things as ‘female upon female rape’ statistics. Best wishes – Peter.

  31. @Toysoldier: “Forcible rape, as defined in the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting (UCR) Program, is the carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.”

    Dude, that’s seriously messed up. Rape is sex without consent, regardless of gender.

  32. @ATL
    “Dude, that’s seriously messed up. Rape is sex without consent, regardless of gender.”

    You are absolutely right ATL. I don’t disagree. And the feminist message about this subject over the years has been grossly exaggerated and false – causing unnecessary mistrust, division and fear.

    But the best antidote to this and to the full evil of such influences as feminism and the neo-Marxist Left are actually quite simple offerings and come in simple packages. I don’t believe they are to found under the microscope of people’s sex lives.

    I was merely suggesting that it would be best to primarily focus upon the tyrannical rape of reason that is presently taking place by the presently powerful few, without the consent, or even full awareness, of the rest of society.

  33. If ATL was making a direct comment about Toysoldier’s post I apologise. As ATL’s post (part of which I quoted) immediately followed my own I initially assumed it was a direct response to me.

    My own comment is still appicable in this context however.

  34. That is incredible that they do not consider it rape when a man sexually assaults another man, calling it “forcible sodomy” rather than rape.

    It is not uncommon. Several states, like Missouri, that still use sodomy laws use them specifically for rapes against males, regardless of the sex of the rapist. Other states that have separate rape and sexual assault laws will often only use the rape laws to apply to male-on-female assaults. This does not just apply to assaults on adults, but also assaults on children.

  35. @Peter C. U.K:

    I disagree with your statements about feminism. I don’t intend to argue with you because I have a feeling it won’t go anywhere, but I wanted to clarify that just because we both agree that the FBI’s definition about rape is wrong doesn’t mean I agree with either you or Toysoldier about the rest of your outdated, incorrect notions about feminism.

  36. You are free to leave your misguided reasoning, values and priorities where others have placed them for you ATL. The world will move on regardless.

  37. @ Peter C. UK:

    You win*, Peter!!!

    I, with my purply mushy brain, am influenced by those damnable feminists (which is not a bad word no matter how much you try to make it seem that way – it even sounds nice in the mouth – FEM-IN-NIST – ooo! tangy!), but you, you SIR, you are able to resist all the propaganda of the patriarchy- you are a veritable fountain of originality – so unique – no other man, NAY no other HUMAN, has had ideas such as yours!

    MY GOD – GLENN BECK MOVE OVER – we have another witty pundit – oh wait…Anyways, you can write a snappy, oh-so sassy retort and I won’t read it or respond- BUT, HOWEVER, ALTHOUGH, you’ll get the last word and then you can be happy?!?!?!? LOLz!

    *unfortunately, u only win Beiber points :-‘( :-‘( :-‘( But you WIN, right?!

  38. It is ironic, as so many others have poignantly said, that when people supporting feminism are confronted with truth – at some stage all that will be heard from their direction will be insults, infantile mockery and rasperries. The cause – that is all they have at the end of the day.

  39. […] […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: