Posted by: joshjasper | January 30, 2011


I spent nearly 5 hours going over our budget and my brain was fried.  By the time I got back to my office to see what kind of damage was in my e-mail inbox, all I could think about was going home for the weekend.  My laptop was in my bag and my keys were in hand when my phone rang.

It was hard to hear what she was saying.  She was crying hard and gasping for her next breath.  I asked her to take a deep breath and to tell me what had happened.  She admitted that she had been drinking and that she was drunk.  Her mind was racing and it was hard to make sense of what was being said.  Her husband raped her and has repeatedly beaten her throughout their marriage.  My heart sank.

She needed someone to talk to.  It was pouring out of her.  She was angry, sad, and scared…all at the same time.  She needed help and was ready to give up on everything.

It’s hard to believe that we take phone calls like this everyday.  Sometimes our volunteers report being called 2, 3, and even 4 times in one night.  These calls come from people you know.  They are your neighbors, friends, and members of your family.

The caller on Friday shared that she couldn’t tell her family about her pain because they wouldn’t understand and that they would blame her.  Riverview Center will ALWAYS be there to take that call.  We only hope that more will join us in supporting others.



  1. My heart bleeds for these souls. I wish I could make the pain disappear and their eyes open!

  2. I hear you Allison. We have a lot of work to do to end violence in our communities and to stop the pain for so many.

  3. When I hear things like this I don’t understand how anyone can insist marital rape doesn’t occur or that it’s somehow less of an assault or less traumatic than rape that occurs outside of marriage. I’m glad you were there for her to talk to, Josh.

  4. Jen-
    It’s crazy how many times people tell me that there is no such thing as marital rape. “How can you rape your wife?” More often than not they can’t believe it’s illegal as well! Crazy.
    The work you do as an advocate is commendable. I get glimpses of it now and then and it reminds me quickly how important your job is.

  5. They don’t understand that when a woman says no, and they proceed anyway, that it is, indeed, rape. It does happen, as I very well know from personal experience. I wish more people understood that just because you’re married, it doesn’t give you the right to force yourself upon your partner.

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