Posted by: joshjasper | July 8, 2010

What was he thinking??

I regularly find myself in conversations with people about specific incidents of violence that have occurred within our community.  Invariably, the commonly asked question is “what was he thinking?”  I have an answer to that question, but you may find that you really don’t want to know the answer.  Take a look at what a sex offender recently shared while incarcerated:

“I am probably well-known and liked by you and your child.  I can be a man or woman, married or single.  I can be a child, adolescent, or adult.  I can be of any race,  hold any religious belief, and have any sexual preference.  I can be a parent, step-parent, relative, friend, teacher, clergyman, baby-sitter, or anyone. 

I am likely to be a stable, employed, respected member of the community.  My education and my intelligence don’t prevent me from molesting your child.  I can be anybody, anywhere, anytime.

I convince your child they are responsible for my behavior.  I make your child think no one will believe them if they tell.  I tell your child you will be disappointed in them for what they have done “with” me.  I warn your child they will be punished if they tell.  I may threaten your child with physical violence against them, you, a pet, or other loved one.

I may make the child feel sorry for me.  I may “accidentally” expose myself or walk in on children unexpectedly.  I may use situations like tucking kids in at night to touch them sexually.  I may have told my children “this is normal/what all fathers do. I may be so good at manipulating children that they may try to protect me.”

Although difficult to read, it’s critical that we understand a person’s thought process in order to stay safe and effectively realize a community free of violence.  If you’re up to it, read through the passage above again and pay close attention to what you as a parent can do to keep your children safe from someone like this.

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